Why Men and Women Evolved With Differences
The primary reason for the differences between men and women today is due to how our ancestors lived and survived in prehistoric times. Ancient men were hunters who concentrated on ways to effectively stalk, kill and transport home the catch-of-the-day for the family group or tribe. Hunting required creativity, cleverness, patience, and physical endurance. However, it did not require much talking or interaction with other men at a personal level. Men did not need to develop the personal communication and relationship skills that women did. Men and women are very different about "communication and relationships."
Success for a man back then was evident mostly in how well he survived as a hunter. Good hunters were very important for the group's survival. The best hunters were greatly respected and valued, and that earned them the power to control the group. This rewarding position at the top of the group came with valuable privileges.
In the ancient past, achieving high status as a great hunter and provider for the group got a man the best of what was available in the group. That usually meant he had first choice of food, comfort, and all the women for as much sex as he wanted. That was the best life a man could hope for in those bleak times. (Some guys think that sounds pretty good even today!)
Therefore, men were very competitive and competed for the rewarding position at the top of their group hierarchy to get the privileges. That competitiveness is still strong in men's DNA! However, it is expressed today in different ways than hunting.
Most of today's men compete and try to demonstrate their superiority by achieving difficult goals, adapting leadership positions, or just lying and bragging about their importance. A major drive in men is "status building." Unconsciously, most men are always working hard to prove themselves as the "greatest hunter" so they can get the privileges that come with high status: food and sex.
This ancient need for high status in men is still operating in the deep old brain of today's men. It drives every human male after puberty to take risks, compete in all varieties of activities, and brag (or lie) about their imagined importance whenever they get the chance.
Fortunately, the newer outer layers of the brain are adapted to learning new ways of behaving for status seeking. Unfortunately, teen boys may not show much restraint in status seeking. Sometimes by the time they reach adulthood (30? 60? 90?) they learn how to be socialized and behave with good manners without openly revealing all their status seeking tactics.
However, even well-socialized men still compete for high status but in accordance with their culture's unwritten rules. Most often, high status is demonstrated today with large amounts of money and what money can buy, like a big house and luxury car. (And yes, often men are still seeking high status in order to get a lot of women and sex.)
Interestingly, it is common practice for a dating man to take his woman to a special restaurant. An abundance of food given to the woman unconsciously demonstrates what a great hunter and provider he is! That is meant to impress her with his high status so she will give him what he really wants, and it is not food he wants!
For women this ritual of going out to eat serves her more than just getting nutrition for another day. Women have in their DNA a need to know they will be safe and protected before giving a man what he wants. So women like to see a man spend the extra time and energy in providing an extraordinary environment and meal to prove how important the woman is to him. (Usually costs the guy a lot of money to prove it!)
Today this is still largely true but hidden:
"Men trade food for sex and women trade sex for food and safety."
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