Fact 9:
"Love" Chemistry Facts

There Are Many Chemicals Related to "Love"

"Falling in love" is a whole body experience and it feels fantastic! Recent research with the latest powerful tools, such as fMRI machines and spectrometers, has uncovered new insights into one of life's greatest pleasures: "falling in love". ("Falling in lust" might be more accurate!)

The sequence of events when "falling in love" is a well established chemically-driven behavior designed to perpetuate our DNA in offspring. Our human bodies are primarily designed to make more copies of our DNA in our children. Our ancestors probably did not call the process "love" but they still had a lot of fun making babies -- or else we would have gone extinct long ago.

The first "falling in love" body chemical activated is dopamine. The first sensations when love strikes are triggered in the brain where there are an abundance of neurotransmitters sensitive to dopamine. These dopamine sensitive areas in the brain are associated with pleasurable expectations and rewards. The "falling in love" sequence of events is this:

1. Attention is focused on the desired mate because of pleasurable high expectations and rewards. In most women the unconscious reward is about making healthy babies and getting long term help from the man to protect and raise them to maturity. Women in this first stage of "falling in love" are discovering the right man who will help her reach her biological purpose of making babies.

2. The perceptions of the desired man are often distorted because of the chemicals now circulating in the woman's brain and body. The man is perceived in highly positive and desirable ways that possibly are not true. A woman in love may truly see her object of love more perfect than everyone else in the world! Often it has been noted that common sense and good judgement seem to be lacking in people in love. Risk taking and poor judgments are common behavior for people in love. (This is nature's trick to make more babies!)

3. As the bond grows with the lovers, other body chemicals start flowing to facilitate nature's plan for making more bundles of DNA (i.e. babies). Testosterone increases in the blood of both partners as does a battery of chemicals in the skin that stimulate olfactory centers in the brain. Sexual desire increases!

4. When two people in love get naked and really close to smell and taste each other's pheromones their body chemicals for sexual desire run amuck! The lust chemicals can turn normally weak men and women into sexual athletes. Good judgement and caution often totally disappear at this point.

5. The goal of both chemically-driven bodies is to build the sexual tension to the breaking point then release everything! If all is going well, the two bodies will simultaneously release all the tension and then relax. At that fantastic moment the body chemistry suddenly changes. A new hormone called oxytocin is released in both men and women, but women have seven times more receptors for oxytocin than men have.

   There is a difference in men and women right after orgasm in how the two bodies return to normal functioning. Men's body functions return to the resting state in just a couple of minutes. However, women have a much more complicated body that takes 15 to 30 minutes to return to the normal resting state. This difference can be a problem as many women want to cuddle during this time but generally men want to go to sleep.

Oxytocin is a mammalian hormone that produces a strong satisfying feeling of connectedness between lovers and also for their offspring. Through evolutionary selection, oxytocin has been programmed to kick-in when it is needed most for the couple to stick together in order to raise and protect their offspring -- who inevitably show up after the period of dopamine and testosterone saturated passion. Research Learn More . . .

Large amounts of oxytocin are also produced in women's bodies when giving birth to children and also during breast feeding. It is also in many animals and birds who mate for life. Oxytocin is a natural body chemical that drives people to be more nurturing, giving, and protective. Women have approximately seven times more oxytocin receptors in their body than men. This may explain why women especially like chocolate: chocolate contains a small amount of oxytocin.