Step 1. Watch for the Right Eye Contact
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[NOTE: Do this only in a place where it is appropriate to meet a woman.]
Casually look at each woman's face. Watch each woman's eyes to see how she returns your eye contact. You should not break eye contact before she does.
Your goal is to look at her politely and interestingly, and wait to see how SHE breaks eye contact with you. How she breaks eye contact is a very important signal for you! She will break eye contact with you in one of two ways: quickly or delayed.
What you are looking for is a delayed eye contact from the woman lasting slightly longer than usual. You will soon learn the difference in timing between the women who disconnect instantly and those who hold eye contact longer than normal. Research has measured this timing difference in milliseconds (thousandths of a second) but men's brains can detect this difference because it is highly developed DNA programing. Here are the rules for this "eye contact mating signal":
- If she likes and accepts your interest in her, she will hold eye contact with you slightly longer than normal, then drop her eyes DOWN to the table, to her drink, or to her hands. Dropping her eyes down is in her DNA as an ancient body language cue saying that she will be passive and accept you approaching her. She will do this unconsciously if she wants to meet you!
While she is looking down, and waiting for you to approach, she very likely will do some preening motions. She will usually fluff her hair, check her nails, or fuss with her clothes. This means she wants to look good for you. That is good news for you!
Remember: Her slightly longer eye contact, plus her looking DOWN while you look at her, means she will accept you approaching her. She will not resist or hurt you. She will be waiting for you to approach her. This signal is in her DNA from all ancestors who mated successfully using it. It worked for them and it will probably work for you!
- Women who do not want a man's advances, and do not want him to approach, will quickly break eye contact and look to their LEFT or RIGHT. Quickly looking left or right means they are not interested and definitely are not going to be passive if approached.
They often also turn their upper body away. At their deep unconscious level they are hiding their breasts from view and saying, "You can't see that I am a woman. Do not approach me." Any clueless guy approaching a woman sending these negative body language cues is setting himself up for a harsh and painful rejection!
Remember guys: Stay away from the women who break eye contact with you by quickly looking away to their left or right! Also, only do this eye-contact "test" a couple of times an evening on each of the women who weren't too negative the first time. Forget those who quickly looked away left or right!
Also be realistic in your expectations. If you do not find any "down-lookers", there may not be any woman there who wants or needs a man for the time being. ("If there are no fish in this pond, go somewhere else to fish!")
Step 2. If you receive her "looking down" signal, the next step is to approach her.
Your confident approach to talk to her will show her that you are a self-confident and aggressive "Alpha Male". She likes that and is waiting for you. Don't delay, as that signals insecurity and not a true Alpha Male.As you walk toward her she will be observing your body language and forming an opinion about you in only seconds! Most women watch the body language and face of every man approaching them to determine if the man is dangerous. This ability to read men is in women's DNA and is a valuable instinct for survival. This habit comes from women's ancestors and over a million years of experience around men!
If you approach her with a smile and self-confident relaxed walk, it is the body language signal that reassures her that you are not dangerous. Women, and many animals, can read body language very well even from a distance, so the way you approach her is important.
The trick is to minimize the movement of every body part not necessary for walking, and to be standing as tall and straight as possible. Excess movements of head, arms, or pelvis and butt reveals nervousness. Slouching over indicates trying to hide and a need for protection. If you approach her with your walk perfected, her hormones will kick in by the time you get to her because it is part of her DNA programing!
Step 3. You Should Start the Conversation With an "Opening Line"
When you get close to her, stop, stand still and erect, greet her, say your name, and ask some simple question like this: "Hello! My name is (real name). May I join you?" An elaborate or tricky "opening line" just reveals insecurity or stupidity, and it is an immediate turn-off for most women. Just stating your name and a request to join her are sufficient. Your simple request is honest and makes it easy for her to respond in a positive way. She knows why you approached her! She told you with her eye signals that you could approach her and that she would not resist you. She has been waiting for you and is very pleased that you selected her from among all the other women there!Also try to keep your chest out and breathing relaxed. (That is hard to do -- and to keep your gut sucked in at the same time!) This will help your voice to be low. A high voice indicates nervousness and fear. A low voice indicates lots of testosterone, and that will unconsciously trigger off nice tingles in her as her hormones start surging.
Step 4. Now Both of You Do "Data Gathering"
The purpose of data gathering is to determine if there is enough common interests for the two of you to spend more time together and maybe become mates. During the data gathering step the two of you may move physically and emotionally closer. How this progresses is best left for the woman to establish. She will provide you with the body language signals you need to understand how close you may get both emotionally and physically.You probably already know most of the negative "do-not-get-close" cues such as crossed arms and legs, leaning back in the chair, and body turned away from you. However, if you don't push into her personal space, and she accepts you and wants you to get closer both physically and emotionally, she will let you know by a powerful body language cue. Here is how this "you-may-get-closer" cue works. Watch for it!
Step 5. She Will Signal You to Come Closer With a Touch
When she wants you to come physically and emotionally closer to her, she will TOUCH YOU. It will appear to happen very casually or even accidentally. Her touch will usually be on your arm or back, as these are the least sexual places on the body. It will be a pat or soft momentary touch for only a few seconds and then she will pull back and carry on the conversation as if nothing is different. However, something BIG is happening!
She is now waiting for you to touch her back EXACTLY LIKE SHE TOUCHED YOU. Same pressure. Same length of time. Same casual way. And you should do that return touch in the next minute or two after her touch. If you wait too long it says to her that you are either afraid to get closer, don't like her, or that you are too dense to read her body language cues.
If you do your part correctly by "casually" returning her touch with the same type of touch, that sends her a very powerful signal that you are willing to meet her on her terms. She is looking for a guy who is not going to control her and run all over her, and your return touch will tell her what type of guy you are. Some guys wrongly take her touch signal as meaning that her doors are wide open now and they can climb all over her body with their hands. That is a very wrong and stupid thing to do because she will instantly close her personal space forever to the guy for being unpredictable, overpowering, unsafe, and stupid.
After the first equal touches are exchanged, watch for more of her touching signals and return them similarly. When she feels safe with you she will be all over you and let you discover all her nice places where she really likes to be touched!
- If she likes and accepts your interest in her, she will hold eye contact with you slightly longer than normal, then drop her eyes DOWN to the table, to her drink, or to her hands. Dropping her eyes down is in her DNA as an ancient body language cue saying that she will be passive and accept you approaching her. She will do this unconsciously if she wants to meet you!
Fact 6: How to Find a Woman
In most western cultures it is acceptable aggressive behavior for a man to approach a strange woman with an "opening line" and a request to join her.
There are subtle eye cues used by both men and women to facilitate this ritual. There are many other subtle rituals used in forming a connection between two people. It is valuable for men and women to learn these rituals outline above.
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She is waiting for you to approach and talk to her!